Until We Both Cannot
by Meggie1495
Summary: Erza and Jellal have been through much in the past, they are star cross lovers hoping for a future, can they attain it? Or will they let it slip by them, without a trace. Jellal pretends to die after the Oracion Seis yet comes to Fiore to become his twin brother to run in the magic council, will he be able to stay away from Erza? Not for very long...


_Erza's POV_

 **The sun reflected off of the dewy grass as its morning light shined through the clouds, trying to bring forth the bright blue sky and day. Sweat already dripped down my neck, muscles stretched and limber with the twin blades I held between my hands weighing nothing. Bare footed wearing only a black bikini top and tan khakis, I readied myself and lunged into a rotation forward, making sure to tuck my body and head in and payed attention to where my swords swung as I went head over heels and landed back on my feet a triumphant smile across my lips.**

 **After another hour of training I found that I was bored and hungry, nearing my own patience with morning ritual I stood straight up and requiped into a pure white sundress with a pink ribbon tied around my waist and wander my way up from my secluded beach training area and went towards town and Fairy Tail. Ending up at the baker's shop for a sliced of my favorite strawberry cake, I ate it with relish as I walked the rest of the way to the guild, thinking it would be nice to go look at the job request bored and see if there was anything exciting up.**

 **Glancing towards the sky where the sun kept rising higher I felt a small twinge of regret and guilt. Simon was gone, Millianna was in a guild and the boys were off traveling, and although Simon wasn't here anymore everyone else was safe and happy.**

 _ **Well almost everyone.**_

 **The guilt and self hatred came back. It was fierce and brutal relentless in its assault as the one thought kept ringing in my mind.**

 _ **Jellal is dead.**_ **Nothing I could have done.**

 _ **And you were incapable of saving the man that cared about you since childhood and yet here you stand thinking about trivial things.**_ **He tried to murder me, sacrifice me to Zeref, his partner Ultear convinced the council to fire an etherion blast at the tower of heaven and then proceeded to destroy the headquarters.**

 _ **I love him and I hate him, he left me alone and broken and I can't stand it, to be by myself.**_

 **Forever marring my heart and head with thoughts of him, my dreams and waking moments filled with any kind of memory or idea of him, what our life could of, should of been.** _ **Jellal.**_

 **Why didn't you survive? And why do I care so damn much? Why couldn't I stop the tears at night? The facade falling away when I'm alone and locked in a room, a strangled mess of heartache and passion as I try and fail not to love and not to care and not to hate and most of all not to think. To think of what I want of what I let slip my hands. Oh Jellal, why?**

 _ **Unworthy.**_

 **Walking aimlessly into the guild I stopped in the middle and looked around. Natsu was asleep. A plate of half eaten food resting near his face and Happy curled into a ball with a fish settled under his chin. Lisanna was quietly talking to Mirajane at the bar, occasionally looking back to Natsu and smiling at him with a secret grin. Gray was eating a hotdog with Juvia who was struggling to eat with the same speed and effectiveness , and I wondered if they knew what they were doing. Levy was reading some kind of textbook and sitting near her was Gajeel casually chewing on a piece of iron I'm sure the script mage produced for him, if only to keep him from talking. Noticing neither Loki or Lucy I concluded they hadn't shown up for the day.**

 **Looking around until I found Master sitting on the bar counter, I walked towards him, his face buried in was appeared to be a lot of paperwork and mumbling to himself. Making myself known I cleared my throat and had Master tip his head up at me, his face suddenly expressing relief and anxiety, what could be wrong?**

" **Erza thank goodness you're here this early, I need you to go to the council headquaters for me and personally apologize for one of your team's newest destructive menecys and be quick about it, they are all up in a tizzy." I sighed, nothing new then I suppose.**

" **Sure Master but could I get something to drink and eat before I do that?" Master sighed himself and nodded.**

" **Get something for the road and be off with you, you're going to meet Master Siegrain Fernandes, he is a ten wizard saint, so please be nice and formal with him, he is going to recommend actions to be taken upon the guild so it's important that you be on your best behavior."**

 **I stalled. Fernandes wasn't a common name but it made my heart flutter, the thought that someone who might know Jellal was out there gave me a little shimmer of hope, some kind of closure might be nice.**

" **It will be done sir, once I have gotten food I will be off immediately."**

" **Good, good. He will meet you at the train station and escort you to the headquarters to his office to discuss options and such, please be cautious of what you say, the guild depends on all of this to go smoothly." I nodded and went to collect food and be off to catch the 9 am train.**

 **The ride wasn't long to her stop, it just seemed to take forever before she finally arrived there five minutes early, as she stood off to the side and contemplate what was going to be the game plan before a head of bright cerulean hair flashed in her view, she glanced up to met the shocked face of one Jellal Fernandes.**

 **My mind went blank. My heart raced. Heated blood rushed from my heart to stomach and then lower, flushing my cheeks and neck a tinted shade of pink, I stuttered and whispered out,**

" **Jellal-" He slapped a hand over my mouth and without another word he whisked us away from the crowded train station to a side alleyway, his speed magic happened in an instant so there was very little time to react other than anger. I was furious and pressed against his rock hard body and the brick wall of the side street, irritated about the situation I pounded on his chest shaking with rage, hurt and confusion. "What do you think you're doing? Where have you been? Why are you here? Why do people think you're a Siegrain Fernandes? And what do you think you're doing now?!" I yelled at him as his face came an inch away from my lips, a frazzle look on his face.**

" **I never expecting my work to throw me at you, yet here we are Erza." His voice rattled on my name, bringing a husky tone to it, I shivered my body responding to his proximity. "I didn't want you to ever have to look at me again and yet you are here, so close to me. This isn't going to be good for you." I shook and growled loudly, using my requiping magic I pulled a dagger out from the portal and switched our positions, pressing the blade to his neck.**

" **What the fuck Jellal?! Why are you alive? And why the fuck didn't you come f-find m-me." The last two words ending on an unintentional sob, I closed my eyes, my heart mixed with shame and hurt. Even with the knife pressed to him, his hand lifted up and cupped my cheek, the warm affection of his hand was soothing and torturing all at once. He sighed and pushed the dagger away, it fell back into the void and I stood there in front of the love of my life, unable to do or say anything.**

" **Because I figured you deserved better than me Erza, if you thought I was dead and gone maybe you would move on but it's been 8 whole years and the sight of you still does me in like it did the first time I saw you and your beautiful scarlet hair." Jellal leaned closer to me, his nose a mere breath away from mine, his inhale and exhale caressed my flesh and hair. Turmoil and restlessness fought inside of me, unable to appease either.**

" **I- I don't know what to say." He touched my hand and smiled.**

" **Let me explain a few things. Come my apartment isn't far from here." Not thinking clearly I nodded my head and let him pulled me towards my destiny.**

 **Once the door was shut behind us my mind screamed at me that this was the worse idea I could ever have, glancing around the room I noticed it was a one bedroom studio, simple with a black leather couch pressed to the wall with a glass and wooden coffee table in front of it, a small kitchen on the left side and bedroom door on the right next to the closet.**

 **Jellal brought me back to the here and now with his ever demanding presence, his eyes brown and warm and the tender smile that crossed his face made me ache on the inside. Although he brought me here to talk I have my suspicions that was not his intention, his sigh was slow and sad, cupping my cheek Jellal pressed his nose to my ear and took a deep breath, he breathed in release, and murmured,**

" **I knew if I took this job to conduct Fairy Tail on their misbehavior that I might bump into you and I thought I could turn away and leave, let you live your life unknowing, yet I couldn't. I felt my heart shatter at the thought of never holding you, seeing you, talking to you, and feeling you, everything is right here and I'm afraid I'll wake up in a cold sweat and realize that this was all just a dream. I do not know if I can let you and I part even if I think it would be better and safer for you, I'm playing a dangerous and stupid game, if you got hurt…"**

 **My head hurt, my body ached and my heart throb. I couldn't think just act and my mind went numb to anything other than Jellal was alive and in front of me, waiting and wanting to be near me as much as I wanted to be near him. His aura made me calm, it made me pissed but most of all it made me want.**

 **Wanting all the things I ever could ask for.**

 **I wasn't sure who did it, but suddenly we were pressed up against each other, my back crushed on the door and my body molded to him, the smell and taste of him was divine as his teeth nibbled and tongue slithered across my lips, I mumbled words or noises, either would work as Jellal wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him and his strong body, his member swelling and cradled in the curve of my belly and hip, embarrassed I pulled back from him and said,**

" **Jellal, please."**

 **I wasn't entirely sure what I was asking for but a gentle smile appeared on his lips, his hands that held my waist so tenderly squeezed me in affection, he looked pained and in heaven all at once. Did he suffer like I suffered? Did he hurt as much as I did? I wanted him to hurt but I could never walk away from him, no matter what I was drawn to him and everything about him. Jellal left me. But even after everything he did in the past, the way he abused my care and love for him, he still let me go and he still couldn't sacrifice me, even with Ultear and Zeref's sweet words caress his heart like a dark lullaby.**

 **Jella must of noticed my distraught, he stalled and took my face into his grasp, he swiped both thumbs across my cheeks, pulling back with wet stains, I blushed utterly ashamed that my emotions leaked through my inner armour. Jellal kissed me and made my head spin, his grasp back at my waist he slid down and took hold of the hem of my dress, pulling it up until it was passed my white lacy bra covered breasts. Holding the fabric there with one hand the other slipped between my legs and slowly touched my sensitive clit in a circler motion, I gasped and bucked my hips towards him. Jellal's breathed hitched and he trembled suddenly, almost overwhelmed by something unknown.**

" **Erza."**

 **Jellal murmured into my ear, his breath tingled my ear seductively, he groaned as if he was being tortured, nuzzling into my neck he tumbled out with,**

" **I've dreamed of this day the moment I understood what you truly meant to me, all I could remember when I lost my memory was Erza, the day I fell into the ocean from the tower I knew that I could never want anything as much as I could want you. And I lost you for a while when you disappeared on Tenrou island, I knew you lived and I knew it would be better if you thought I died, but I couldn't stay away. I needed money and being in the council meant being near you, if that's all I could have of you I would be satisfied, but my self control is non existent. I can't stay away Erza, I'm sorry."**

 **Jellal's lips captured mine once more, he guilt and affection ran through me, striking me with the intensity that it held, without me knowing my panties were removed from my body and I was bared to him. I was trimmed neatly, my core wet and warm to his touch, his fingers barely touched me now, almost relishing the barest of touches. I couldn't keep letting him give me pleasure only, he would think I was selfish and I was far from it with him. Jellal gasped under my kiss as I slipped my hand down into his buttoned silk grey pants and held onto his most sensitive part.**

 **His cock pulsed in my hand and surprised me with the suddenness of his response, he had only been mildly hard a moment ago, he ground into my hand with enthusiasm. Moist with precum I slicked my thumb on the tip and had Jellal buck with a moan, his hand pinned the dress under my arm so he could pull the bra away to reveal a nipple. Wrapping his mouth around the right one, he suckled. Fire rushed through me. I couldn't think, I couldn't breath, all I knew was Jellal, his scent of sea salt and sandalwood made my heart and body tighten in response.**

 **Jellal nudged my legs apart, lifting one leg to hold against the door and the other pulled over and pressed to the side, his pants were dropped and he brushed the head of his cock on my clit, rubbing in a slow and methodical method. I lost what breath I had and gave into the feelings and emotions he was instilling into me as I rode on the line of heaven and hell.**

 **Jellal took my breasts into his hands and rubbed my nipple carefully making sure to tweak and rub them tenderly, before dropping his mouth on the other nipple, giving that one attention as well. I hadn't breath in over a minute, and I felt myself getting light headed, I forced a deep breath in and Jellal slipped down to catch at the center of my being, I hitched and stilled.**

 **Jellal pulled his hands away to brush my face and hair affectionately, he kissed my neck and ear, saying a sweet response,**

" **It's okay my love, I won't hurt you." I shook and tried to express my concern, but he caught my lips once more and poured himself into me before slowly pressing forward. It only hurt for a brief instance, I stiffened and tightened around him as he pushed into me, my body slowly opening up to him before he slammed down into me, an uncontrollably cry left me, but Jellal made me forget almost immediately as he kissed and nibbled my lips, cheek and neck. "I'm sorry, I was too soon, you weren't ready." Guilt raged in his eyes but I kissed him, too distracted by the physical that I was unable to give him comfort.**

 **He laid his forehead on top of mine, his breathing ragged and irregular but a truly handsome smile that was combined with pain was plastered on his face. He pulled from me and slowly thrusted back, I threw my head, smashing it against the door and gave a pleasured moan. I laughed and wrapped my legs around him, wanting him to be closer, I shushed his concerns for my head bump as he took my hips and started to buck with earnest.**

 **It seems like a long stretch of eternity that we were held so close to each other, his words of affection and mindless lust were like honey to my ears. I couldn't take this much pleasure or happiness all at once, I tensed and screamed his name, rattling around the walls of the apartment Jellal shouted, "Erza!"**

 **As his member pulsed and hardened more, he thrusted a few more times before pressing deep into me and came with intense warmth, his heat making me cry out in satisfaction, he groaned, noises of pleasure and exhaustion rumbled from him as he laid up on the door, his body spent and sated. Face burried in my red hair, he sighed happily.**

" **You are perfect." As if someone or something had suddenly flipped a switch back on, I realized the mess and situation I had now put myself into.**

 **Jellal was technically my enemy, he had helped destroyed the magic council and here he was back this time, personally. Not only did he try to give my body to Zeref, but he killed Simon (even if accidently) and tried to bring Zeref the black wizard back to life. He enslaved our friends and made them continued building the tower. And although he did repent for that during the Oracion Seis endeavor when he put his life on the line for Fairy Tail and Cait Shelter he still lied to me. And made me believe he was dead once the fighting had stopped and Nirvana was defeated.**

 **Yet. I still stood here. Jellal buried to the hilt of me, loved and spent inside, his tender and gentle touch still held true even during the more intense parts, even when he hurt me.**

 **I gave my virginity to my enemy and to the love of my life.**

 **Shame. Lust.**

 **Guilt. Contentment.**

 **Fear. Affection.**

 **Hate. Love.**

 **Resentment. Deflection.**

 **Denial.**

" **Move Jellal." Jellal pulled out of me and away, his smile warm and sensier.**

" **Sorry Erza, was I crushing you?"**

 **He started to pull down my dress for me when the sight of blood caught his attention, he paled at the picture. His cock was trailed with it and my inner thighs were smeared, he shook and trembled, Jellal's eyes start to water. "Erza-"**

 **I didn't give him the chance to finish, I pushed him and threw Jellal, his body smashing into the coffee table as he landed on it, breaking underneath him, I yanked the dress down and ran out the door, quickly slamming it and running as fast as I could away from the mess I just made.**


End file.
